I’m a former Southern Baptist pastor who fell from grace by committing adultery.

I hope by chronicling my story in a transparent manner, I can help other fallen pastors and hurt churches.

If you are a fallen pastor, or considering adultery, please contact me. You can email me or leave a comment in a blog post. I won’t publish the post. Just leave your email in the post and I’ll contact you as quickly as I can. I would love to talk to you. I will keep your information private. I’m here to help and understand where you are.

I am a certified athletic trainer by trade and an author as well. I am author of the upcoming book, “Fallen Pastor: Finding Reconciliation in a Broken World,” from Civitas Press, now available for preorder. I contributed an essay to “The Practice of Love: Real Stories of Living Into the Kingdom of God,” under my pseudonym Arthur Dimmesdale.

6 Responses to About

  1. John Bartik says:

    I think this is a good response to gain some redemption from your actions. I don’t mean from God, you need forgiveness from him. I think there is something really Biblical about seeking to make good from evil. I’ve only read one post but I found your honesty and humility refreshing.

  2. Brian Irwin says:


    I’m not sure how I stumbled into your site, but I am quite moved by what I found. You were always a remarkable person. While I am not a Christian by most definitions, even my own most days, I am a believer in honesty, forgiveness and reconciliation.

    I didn’t know that you’ve lost both your parents. My heart goes out to you. I loved the email from your dad, and I am so happy for you that you got to see that. .

    I wish you and Allison all the best.

    your friend,


    • fallenpastor says:

      Thanks, Brian. That means a lot to me. Tha ks for stopping by and reading. I’ve learned a lot in the past few years and it’s been humbling. Hope you’re doing well. Look me up on Facebook sometime.


  3. savedbygrace says:

    Grace and Peace

    I have some things for you. not from me.

    How can a person fall from Grace when this person were under the Law all along?
    A person breaks the 7th because this person were bound by the Law.

    Clearly the person was not under Grace, but the Law

    For the law always brings punishment on those who try to obey it.
    (The only way to avoid breaking the law is to have no law to break!)
    – Romans 4:15 (NLT)

    When a person falls from Grace, it means the person were under Grace
    A person falls from Grace when the person goes back to the Law

    Jesus said, lustful thoughts is adultery. hatred towards a brother is murder.
    – of which I believe pastors have done.
    – we break the entire Law if we missed one – James said we are guilty of all

    woe to those who condemn others by the Law, for the same manner they are condemn,


    Preaching morality, do’s and don’ts
    – the church is supposedly the place to unveil Jesus
    – not do’s and don’ts but rather “what Jesus has done for you at the cross”

    Preaching against sin does not set us free from sin.
    – it produces condemnation instead.
    – people will find fault in others
    – rather, believers should be reminded they are righteous before God.

    Preaching the Law to Christians in the church does not make one righteous

    “I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness is by law, then Christ has died for nothing.”
    – Galatians 2:21


    But for you, my friend, who are in Christ. You are not condemn.

    “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus
    because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the
    law of sin and death.”
    – Romans 8:1-2

    You are righteous before God. don’t care about what man says to you, because they are looking outwardly.

    Look unto Jesus, look unto the cross. Jesus is your righteousness, your perfection.

    Be Jesus conscious, Be righteousness conscious.
    and NOT sin conscious.

    grace and peace

  4. John Wilbanks says:

    Thank you so much for this article Ray. I have been facing the same depression for the past two weeks. I have also said the same things about myself. But once I begin to help others it seems to go away. I truly thank God I found you online. I am so glad I can now call you a friend and brother in Christ. Blessings John Wilbanks – p.s. there is alot of work to be done with fallen pastors. Why don’t we put a retreat together for hurting pastors.

  5. I appreciate what you have done to “clean” the dirty areas of your life. I too have had things in my life that needed cleaning. I am addicted to opiates. I sought God many, many times to “deliver” me from drug use. I was even “saved” and baptized into the Holy Spirit. I believed all the NA/AA type messages of I am weak and powerless under the desires of my flesh. Honestly pastor, it wasn’t until I started to believe “my” message that I was truly delivered. I am almost completely drug free now, and do you know why? Because “I” started believing in myself.

    “I” took responsibility for my own actions. I know that “I” will deal with the consequences if I fail. You see, I no longer believe that I am weak. I am powerful! I am human, and I will listen to no message ever again that tells me differently. As I said, I had been “saved” and attributed everything to God, and always fell. I believe in myself now. Furthermore, if there is a God, I can’t imagine he’d want me any other way because as the church would say-“He made me”.

    I am now getting everything out of life I never did in the past. I appreciate life in ways I never did before, and I have a love for others in ways I never did before, because I am comfortable with “me” now. When I say I have a love for others, what I mean is that if you want to believe, and that’s what gives you the most out of life, you believe it with everything you are! This is a realization I came to on my own, and I finally love myself instead of kicking myself to death. I cannot imagine living any other way, nor can I imagine a God that created me would want it any other way. Acceptance is what it comes down to for me-not tolerance. When you truly accept others for what they are, you are free. All in my opinion of course.

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